Recorded on May 16, 2012
Here at China Punks, we like to take your misguided and pre-conceived notions of decency, etiquette, and rule of law and smash them to little bits with our “China Punks Bear and Wizard Deterrent” baseball bats.
So if you’re that guy (or gal) standing in front of the subway (or elevator) doors, get the hell out of our way or the next thing in your face just might be your doom.
If you’re that fat jerk talking smack about our beards, STFU or be the target of the “China Punks” Stare of Death©®™ (deadlier than any Death Star laser, because its real)
crackdown on illegal foreigners
female chengguan in Harbin
46th anniversary of cultural revolution
baidu’s new phone
BBC reports that everyone likes China
BEIJING — Charlie Custer and John Artman, creators and co-hosts of China Punks, the most popular podcast in China, have recently announced their decision to forego a show this week, ostensibly because of a technical malfunction.
This, of course, has created a wave of concern, and uncertainty over the future of this award-winning and ground breaking podcast.
In order to alleviate concern, Mr Custer and Mr Artman called an emergency press conference last night. Unfortunately, due to laziness and general disrespect for their listening public, they were not in attendance. Instead, their spokesman from Relevant Recordings, Mr Xiang Guan Bu, made the announcement and answered questions during the two-hour press conference.
“According to the relevant recording procedures, China Punks was unable to be published this week,” Xiang said. “We hope that everyone understand how important these relevant rules and regulations are to the continuation of safe and harmonious podcasting in China.”
However, when asked about what the proper procedures for podcasting are, Mr Xiang was not able to give any satisfying answers.
“It is the belief of myself, as well as those I represent, that everyone already knows the relevant regulations and procedures. If you don’t, I refer you to our website: http://www.willneverfindwhatyouarelookingfor.com where everything is explained logically and clearly. If you can’t find any relevant information, then I apologize, because you must be stupid.”
Both Mr Custer and Mr Artman were unavailable for comment as they had to finish their ice cream.
—- Yur Mom. Follow him on twitter @STFU