China Punks 14: Drinkin’ Before 5pm

First, we would like to welcome all listeners from the No Agenda Stream.  If you’re catching this post before the live stream broadcast, you can catch our “live” broadcast on Friday May 25 12 noon EDT (Midnight Saturday China time.)

Also, there’s a problem with the Ubuntu One streaming of our podcast, so I won’t be posting a link to streaming.  Instead, the link below is to the download.

Find links and more info below

Download China Punks 14

yang rui

China Soft-Power Watch: The Yang Rui ‘Foreign Bitch’ Factor

Okay, seriously…one last Yang Rui story

child kidnapping – serial killer in kunming

17 young people disappear in Yunnan, police fear a serial killer

Serial killers in China

Living with Dead Hearts

chen guangfu

Chen Guangcheng’s Brother Escapes Village

Report: Chinese city enforcers accused of brutality

xiaomi flashing

Book of Knowledge: Xiaomi

Tech in Asia’s Coverage

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China Punks 13: Law?! We don’t need no stinkin’ Law!

Recorded on May 16, 2012

Here at China Punks, we like to take your misguided and pre-conceived notions of decency, etiquette, and rule of law and smash them to little bits with our “China Punks Bear and Wizard Deterrent” baseball bats.

So if you’re that guy (or gal) standing in front of the subway (or elevator) doors, get the hell out of our way or the next thing in your face just might be your doom.

If you’re that fat jerk talking smack about our beards, STFU or be the target of the “China Punks” Stare of Death©®™ (deadlier than any Death Star laser, because its real)

Download or Stream China Punks 13

charlie’s trip

crackdown on illegal foreigners

Beijing to “Clean Up” Illegal Foreigners
Watch: Fight between Chinese and laowai passenger on train
British Man Beat Up For Sexually Assaulting Chinese Girl

female chengguan in Harbin

Female inspectors are a hit

City Urban Administrative and Law Enforcement Bureau

46th anniversary of cultural revolution

Mid-Week Links, Part 2: Retired CCP members ask for Zhou Yongkang and Liu Yunshan to resign, Salman Rushdie on censorship, and “anti-cult month”

chen developments

Chen reports ‘first concrete step’ toward leaving China
Amid celebrations over activist deal, US officials admit they haven’t told Chen Guangcheng that Santa Claus doesn’t exist

baidu’s new phone

Baidu to Sell Inexpensive Smartphone
Baidu Unveils Low Cost Smartphone with Voice Recognition and 100GB of Cloud Storage

BBC reports that everyone likes China

China Ranked 5th in BBC Global Popularity Survey, Above USA


China Punks: Relevant Recording Procedures

BEIJING — Charlie Custer and John Artman, creators and co-hosts of China Punks, the most popular podcast in China, have recently announced their decision to forego a show this week, ostensibly because of a technical malfunction.

This, of course, has created a wave of concern, and uncertainty over the future of this award-winning and ground breaking podcast.

In order to alleviate concern, Mr Custer and Mr Artman called an emergency press conference last night.  Unfortunately, due to laziness and general disrespect for their listening public, they were not in attendance.  Instead, their spokesman from Relevant Recordings, Mr Xiang Guan Bu, made the announcement and answered questions during the two-hour press conference.

“According to the relevant recording procedures, China Punks was unable to be published this week,” Xiang said. “We hope that everyone understand how important these relevant rules and regulations are to the continuation of safe and harmonious podcasting in China.”

However, when asked about what the proper procedures for podcasting are, Mr Xiang was not able to give any satisfying answers.

“It is the belief of myself, as well as those I represent, that everyone already knows the relevant regulations and procedures.  If you don’t, I refer you to our website: http://www.willneverfindwhatyouarelookingfor.com where everything is explained logically and clearly.  If you can’t find any relevant information, then I apologize, because you must be stupid.”

Both Mr Custer and Mr Artman were unavailable for comment as they had to finish their ice cream.

—- Yur Mom.  Follow him on twitter @STFU


China Punks 12: Bears, Bats, and One Blind Man

UPDATE:  Audio file is now the entire show.

Recorded on May 2, 2012

On behalf of the China Punks team, we would like sadly inform our loyal listeners that we will be discontinuing our line of “China Punks”-branded cattle, power hungry officials and baby brands.  Due to amazing lack of demand, there’s just no way that we could continue the production of these life-changing products.

Upon looking at our finances, our board of directors has decided, instead, to place what little money we have into a new line of government approved “China Punks” bear-repelling and dissident-beating baseball bats.  They won’t be very useful if you do decide to take a trek into the-middle-of-nowhere Beijing suburbs to test video game consoles.

Nor will they protect you from wizards.

These are poorly-made and low quality products which no one will want.  They aren’t limited edition, won’t come with a certificate of authenticity, and certainly won’t come with a warranty.

Did we mention that they won’t protect you from wizards?

We hope you don’t enjoy them.

Sincerely,

John and Charlie

Download or Stream China Punks 12

Wizard Arrested for Raping Buddhist

chen guangcheng

(this is an evolving situation. Some news linked here may be outdated by the time you read it)

China Geeks’ coverage

Chen Guangcheng to stay in China after authorities pledge to assure his safety

Stephen Colbert has delicate advice for Chen Guangcheng

Chen Guangcheng

On a Tightrope, President Prods China on Rights

Chen Guangcheng’s Journey

The Baffling Case of Chen Guangcheng

Chen Guangcheng’s Escape Could Cause Breakdown of U.S. Relations With China

weibo

Weibo, Rumors, and Real Name Registraion with Jeremy Goldkorn

Sina Admits It Has Not Complied With Weibo Real Name Registration Rules

Sina’s Softer Censorship: A Case Study of Search Smothering

taobao

Alleged Taobao scandal stirs sensation

wokai

ebox isec ct510

Lenovo-funded eBox gaming console renamed iSec, still can’t shake Kinect comparisons

Lenovo-backed Video Game System Unveiled in China

Eedoo iSec is Now Called the CT510, To Be Released Next Week